Motivation Behind Recording
My first CD, Messages From The Throne of Grace, is what I would call a Miracle. The Miracle is not that I am on my first CD, but how this CD came to be. Most CDs are recorded with budgets in the tens of thousands or with all star musicians and first-rate producers. Being the perfectionist that I am, it never entered my mind that my first CD would be any different. I even had a list of some of the producers that I wanted to use on my first project. Would I pay for it? If so, how would I come up with the money? I certainly didn’t have the answers to these questions, but I remained totally convinced that God would find a way. I had been praying that God would open doors for me and my ministry and He did, but the door that He chose was not quite what I expected.
Right after college, I began working for a publisher as a songwriter. At that time I only wrote secular songs, because I felt that Christian songs were one-dimensional. I felt that there wasn’t enough room to explore and to be creative. A year later, the Lord began impressing on my heart that I should write about Him. I resisted at first, but when I sat down and began to write I discovered that I was wrong. The publisher even told me that my writing had more passion than it did before. Two years later I decided that my talents were no longer to be shared with the world and that God would get them all. Not too long after, the publisher began to demo my songs. Some were recorded with full arrangements and others were recorded with just voice and guitar or piano. It was our intention that myself or other artists would rerecord these songs. God knew, but I didn’t know that I was recording my first CD.
When the time came for the contract to be renewed, I decided to let it go. By this time I had begun to teach music and I felt that my publisher and I didn’t share the same vision anymore. I still wanted to be a recording artist, working with the best producers and musicians, but even more, I wanted the music to win souls for God’s kingdom. Because I had gotten in the habit of writing, I continued, lamenting that I didn’t have the kind of money necessary to record the way I wanted to. Some of my friends encouraged me to make the best of what I had and use the demos as my first release, but for me that was not an option.
One night, I got a call from a very good friend. Somehow the topic turned to music and I began singing the same sad song about my situation. Her encouragement turned out to be more like a lecture. She then told me how God specializes in simple things and that in simple things there is no mistaking who gets the glory. She even showed me a Bible text in Isaiah that says Jesus was not comely to look upon. I didn’t change my mind, but the seed was planted. I decided that I would use the demos, but only as a last resort. Then God took the matter into his own hands.
A very good friend of mine, who is also a singer/songwriter, took a listen to the demos. He couldn’t stop telling me how much of a blessing the music was to him. I knew that he would understand my situation more than anyone because he had also left a future in secular music to follow Jesus. One day he called me very excited. He had just built me a page on MP3.com where people could listen to my music and buy it if they wanted to. He even designed my cover and gave the CD its name. What was my motivation for recording this CD? I’m sure that you know the answer. This is God’s CD. I guess He had to move me out of the way so that His will could be done. He certainly has a blessing for those who listen. I’m just grateful that He chose to use my music. God can use anything He pleases for His glory. He can use three hundred men to defeat an army of thousands or he can use simple demos to soften hearts that are hard. My prayer is that as you listen, God’s love would be revealed and that this music would help to usher you into deep intimacy with Him.
